Jesse Patch

Text Q & A w/ Jesse Patch of L.A. Lights Fire

Jesse Patch getting in a late night cram the night before he returns to LALF.

On the eve of returning to L.A. Lights Fire, Jesse Patch finds time to answer questions, via text, while trying to relearn lines he hasn't seen in 4 years.


Sacramento, CA. Speed Bump Capital of the World™.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

 Astronaut. Went to Space Camp twice.

Who was 13 yr old Jesse's dream girl?

Kelly freaking Kapowski. Number one with a bullet.

Hahahaha I fucking knew that was coming!!!

I had to check the timeline to make sure she was active when I was 13.

Expectations for sure woulda dropped at the sight of Space Shuttle posters hanging on your walls!

The shuttle posters worked for at least one girl!

A fire is raging at home... There's only time to grab one thing... WHAT DO YOU SAVE?

Tough one. I mean part of me wants to say hard drives because they have so many years of work on them, but I think push come to shove, I'd grab the Kentucky Cycle sweatshirt.

Scarier thought: Returning to LALF after 4 years-- with no rehearsal? Or... Realizing you fell asleep at 7am after partying all night and then remembering you started boiling eggs before you passed out?

Eggs. LALF is much less scary.

Biggie or Tupac?

It kills me to say it, but Biggie. Like desert island kind of thing? I'd rather have Life After Death than All Eyez On Me. But "Changes" is my jam!

LALF is a party. What's more religious? Preshow backstage shots, During show beer chugs, or Post show VIP party like we're Puffy in his prime?

Preshow backstage shots are LALF's version of communion.

And finally... When you take that bow Monday night, if 13 yr old Jesse could be in that audience... space shuttle posters Jesse... Kelly Kapowski loving Jesse... What would you want that lil' fucker to be thinking while he watches you take that bow?

That the bearded older guy that looks a bit like him kept it pretty real.


Jesse Patch returns to L.A. Lights Fire

Jesse Patch, original cast of L.A. Lights Fire, makes his Ali like return to the ring, Monday October 26th, 10PM at 13th Street Rep for a special 1 night performance.

Monday, October 26th, 10PM, 13th Street Rep, Jesse Patch returns to the track of characters he originated in 2011 for L.A. Lights Fire, making his first stage appearance in over 4 years. In a text conversation that only the chill would understand, Jesse Patch and Keola Simpson negotiate his return:

KS: Yo! What's the word? You in for a performance? Also, got any Xanax?

JP: Which performance? End of the month?

KS: Yep

JP: I'm in!

KS: Dope

JP: Send me a script?

KS: Find me Xanax?

JP: Rehearsal?

KS: No time

JP: Me neither

KS: How bout an hour of rehearsal the day of the show?

JP: Word

KS: You got a headshot? Or something resembling one?

JP: Just this. (sends an old pic of himself holding an even older headshot of himself from the 90's) 4 years old but gets the job done, right? 

KS: Perfect


And just like that, a deal is made, the old school way. See you all on Monday at 10PM!